Why?

I feel like people wonder why I am going back this year when I have already been. I mean, I didn't go last year so it isn't like I'm a total NOLA fanatic.  And last year,even for a part of this year, I told people I really didn't feel any sort of inkling that I should go back.  The truth is that I struggled a bit on the first trip.  I felt alone at times and I saw that there was so much to do and felt like we were barely making a dent.  I just didn't connect.  My biggest lesson from that trip was that I can count on people.  Four of my old coworkers chipped in nearly half of my trip cost.   It was totally unexpected.  I learned that it's okay to ask for help and that people will come through when I need them, if I let them.  But still, I wasn't interested in doing that again.  So what changed? 

Well, I have to thank my friend and group leader James.  He and my other teammates from 09, Keith and Susie, kept asking me about going.  Finally, James mentioned that he was doing photo team.  I thought that was an invite only type of thing, for photogs only.  But he told me that it was for anyone.  I had never pictured myself in that role and when I did, it seemed to fit!  My heart was heavy at that time to (and still is) from my dad passing away in December.  So the second part of the why is my dad.  We were super close, but you wouldn't know it from my photo album.  The only recent pictures I have of us together are from my graduations.  The last one was in 2005 from grad school.  My father passed away in 2010 and the most recent picture I have of us together is 2005.  That bothers me.  One day I'll start asking family if they can find others, but for now it's too soon.  What I'm  saying is, I would have loved to have the type of photos of us that our NOLA Photo Team takes.  There's love in those pictures.  The relationship comes through the photo.  So now I'm given the opportunity to give something to someone that I do not have.  I can help people add those types of photos to their albums and mantles.  Yeah, that's why this trip, at this time, on this team, fits.